It’s Christmas again and a new year looms close in the horizon. Another year gone by, filled with change and continuity, joy and sadness, tears and laughter, successes and challenges. Another year of life in all its intensity.
For every ending there is a new beginning. As an addict of new beginnings I have had to work with myself to stay with this ending, to finish what needs to be finished in the present moment of this closing year, before rushing ahead to the exciting new. But I cannot completely help looking ahead, or back, for that matter, in a sort of evaluation of what 2013 has been for me and what I want to place my attention on in 2014. This year has been an exciting and challenging one for me. Moving to a new country and going back to school as a mother of two small children, while very rewarding has not come without bumps or hurtles. I am dancing around them still, trusting that practice will make perfect. No, not perfect. Good enough.
This year I chose surrender as my word-of-the-year. A practice I started a few tears ago after accepting that new year resolutions were doing nothing for me. I felt I was working too hard at controlling the outcomes of, as well as the way to, the things I wanted in my life and that that had become an obstacle, not only to those targets, but especially to my enjoyment of the journey. Surrender was my prayer to let go, my prayer for me to get out of my own way. How have I fared? Have I learned anything about surrender? I don’t know yet as I am still in the midst of it. What I can say is that it has been a struggle. How do you let go while still taking responsibility? How do you navigate without a plan, but with a plan? I trust that the answers to those questions will come to me in due time. For now I am happy I have the word for the new year, which I am very excited about. But I will share it only next year as I am committed to living in the moment, which is still 2013.
This is my last post of the year. I thank you for your continued support despite my absences and hope to see you back next year to continue the conversation. I leave you with very warm wishes for a splendid Christmas and the happiest of New Years.